Tuesday, 2 March 2010


Aye hen the bairn is oot
Caught his laddie full o soot
Ben the skullery wash yer nut
Efter yer dad has played his putt.

Yer sister kens the lassie Betty
Her mans iy oot and awfy sweaty
Eyes like peeholes in the snaw
The Polis came he shot the craw.

Dinny sniff yer granda’s soaks
Stinks awe fish and artichokes
Canny smell his nose is wasted
Like the chicken efter its basted.

The wee man sings his awfy song
Thank the lord he’ll no be long
Toneless deef and full o whiskey
Eyeing the women up and awfy frisky.

He’s no awa tae the bookies again
That auld chancer has gone insane
Bets his shirt on an auld lame hoarse
Canny run or finish the course.

Gonny put the kettle oooon
Invite auld aggie and cousin Joan
Talk eh knitting oot the back
Hae a bun and have a crack.

Hope she disnae bring her man
he's always chasing that woman Nan
if he takes his teeth oot he looks a sight
and causes a row an spoils the night!

Auld Aggie still cannae say a word
especially aboot that davie's bird
she's nae ile paintin thats fir sure
or a lassy intact or even pure!

What aboot that awfy dug
that goes aboot wi the coat awe snug?
he shakes his coat and oor it goes
reaches the bunker on his tip toes.

Well hen a better bash on
goat tae get that peece for John
if no he will moan and groan
lip awe quiverin per bran scone!

Ha hahhah lol well friends, try as you will to phathom this lot out, please read it as it says the way its spelt and read it out loud to get the full impact, this is how WE SCOTS speak daily lol, I will be happy to interpret any word you have difficulty with but im sure you will all be able to read it to perfection..lol

What languages do YOU speak, and what languages would you like to speak ??


  1. Argh, that was hard! *lol*

    It's a very cleverly written poem though, sounds funny when you read it aloud!

    In answer to your question about languages, I speak a little Romanian! But I am thinking of learning Korean soon :D

  2. lol thanks Karen wow Romanian and Korean thats impressive, good luck with that :)

  3. I'm a fan of writing that captures dialects. Nice work.

  4. WOW this is diffent from what I am use to reading of your poetry, but may I say fun and some confusing. LOL However you know me, I don't let anything get the best of me. hehehehehe I love learning about Scotland. As for me I learned a little French in school, but hey I can't even get the English language right. LOL Nice job Billy.

  5. It was rather fun reading out loud.
    A handsome poem indeed.

    I speak Bahasa Malaysia, Melayu, Bahasa Indonesia, Cantonese, Hokkien, Hakka, English and a little of Mandarin.

    Happy MARCH!


  6. I LOVE THIS! I had fun and read your words with a BIG smile on my face! :) I speak Italian, Spanish, and English with a New York accent! lol :)

  7. lol thanks ladies, it isnt easy to understand, but I am impressed :)

  8. That was fun William :) I speak English and a little Spanish...I'd like to learn others but I'm kinda lazy feeling at this point in my life LOL

  9. u r funny like a 3 year old boy,
    it is a winsome
    what look handsome
    and brings everyone joy!

    I tried, it rhythms.
    Thank U for sharing your native language's wisdom and ...

    Happy Tuesday!
    when it comes language, no matter what it sounds, love and forgiveness are universal!

  10. u are right o wise one xxx thanks Ji xxa>

  11. I speak the English language as my Father would always say to me.. I use to speak a bit of Spanish. I want to get back to that..

    Happy Tuesday..

  12. Great poem! I love the way it reads. Yes, it is a little hard for me to read...blast my American vocabulary! Luckily, I have read a lot of old English...that helps a lot. I just love the Scottish brogue that I can almost hear through your words. Have a beautiful day!


  13. Say what? Hey William I'm the loving odd ball here and reading it out loud nope it didn't work so I'll take the English Version please lol lol.
    Love you and I'm sure it's good you made me laugh!!! :) :)

  14. sorry so late in getting over william...my day is crushing me. love how you played with the words today...it reads so well. much fun!

  15. its like listening to neighbors talk :D loved it... hehehe ya its quite difficult.. but then i read it twice to enjoy it :D

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    thank u.
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  17. This for me was pretty tough, even though I'm a fellow Celt lol! It would be like me posting a poem in Welsh-Siarad Cymraeg iaith y chwarelwyr? Something like that anyhoo! A delight Billy!!

  18. Years ago I was in Scotland on vacation, my oldest daughter and I took an early morning walk. A little man in a black suit on an older model bike pedaled past us tipped his hat and greeted us in Gaelic. We smiled back and nodded as he slipped off his bike and leaned it against the side of a building, then slipped into the pub. I would like to learn Gaelic, such a musical language.

    This poem should be framed. Loved it!!
    Gerardine xx

  19. Me got an award for you!

    come over to http://justmeshakirack.blogspot.com/2010/03/awesome-gifts-from-crackerjacks.html



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