Thursday, 31 December 2009


Pour me another one I'm not counting
ok I may have had six or seven!
but to me I survive in my own little world
all alone in My form of Heaven!

Why do you chastise me? doesn't everyone drink?
whats wrong with the odd nip or two?
it's not that I can't control myself
I depend on that from YOU!

Cider is my forte, yes I may drink a litre
but bearing in mind that's a day!
most people drink more than this in the pub
"be quiet I must have my say"

You torment me daily, LEAVE ME ALONE
try my life "go on" if you dare!
I did not choose to be this way
infact I don't even care!

Give me the bottle, you have me upset
my nerves are not made of steel
forget the mixer thats too much effort
I prefer to drink you for real!

I believe you will kill me eventually
but that chance I am willing to take
for years I have suffered the consequences
meeting YOU was not my mistake.

When you are done, yes I will be sad
I may borrow or steal to get you
because you have no idea how you comfort me
with you I am never blue.

I may end up with nothing or any friends
I have only the clothes on my back
but as long as I have YOU by my side
I don't care of aggression or attack.


This is a personal argument from a person who has alcohol issues, trying to reason with himself as to why he drinks, always having an answer when there is a fear of stopping, this is a disease like any other addiction, many people suffer or have known people who suffer from alcohol abuse and at this time of the year the message is needed to go out, we do not need Alcohol to have fun, if you can control it, drink responsibly, don't overdo it, there is a full year ahead.....


Wednesday, 30 December 2009


At an early age she knew her fate
before she could decide for herself
some are born to be hard done by
while some can help them self.

She married at sixteen with three kids in tow
knowing nothing, never being without child
never learning to be free or let her hair down
or to run carefree in the wild.

A husband who abused her and, drank all their money
he was out most times of the week
while she cared for the children twenty four seven
terrified and too frightened to speak.

Then one day she decided to change
she had had enough of her life
a very young girl struggling to live
and trying to be a good wife.

she tried to stand up to her bully of a man
but she was battered to a pulp if she spoke
the children would scream in terror each night
as they watched their mum bruised and broke.

For sixteen years she was embarrassed and belittled
till one day she could stand it no more
she decided to try and escape with the kids
and one night she went out the door.

She was found after two nights in a woman's shelter
her hubby was supposedly in remorse
she fell for his charms and his promises
she returned to their home off course.

After only three days he got worse than ever
the beatings were more severe than before
she turned to her family and was told once again
you know how to get to the door.

Alone and scared more for the kids than her
she decided there was only one way out
the good side said leave, the other said stay
she knew what this was about.

That fateful day she took her life
as she never saw any other way
the kids went into care that day
the dad never did have a say.

He died three years later alone and broke
a tear ran down his reddened cheek
he thought long and hard at what he once had
all gone and within one lousy week.

The kids had a better life they say
but the older ones remembered their mom
they regretted the day they were ever born
and the day their mom met tom.

this poem is fictionor is it???
How many people do YOU know in this situation??

Tuesday, 29 December 2009


He sat at the table his face excited
awaiting the start of the game
for fifteen years he had played out of his skin
always hoping to reach the top and reap fame.

Shaggy long hair evident a comb had not entered
his face was unshaven and old
what clothes he had were not of quality
and his watch was made of plated gold.

An unpleasant odour engulfed his prescence
it was clear he had hardly ever bathed
and yet in a strange way he looked tidy
his collar on the shirt was unscathed.

His eyes lit up as the dealer dealt
he rattled his chips in his hand
like a person with a nervous disposition
he could not keep still for a grand!

High stakes on the table his brow was wet
from the pressure he felt deep inside
as well as not losing his rep was in danger
and for him he could not swallow his pride.

with each turn of the card his eyes glazed over
fear tied his stommoch in knots
sitting with a hand he deemed to be good
while throwing more chips near the slots.

this turn of the card could be make or break
you could cut the atmosphere with a knife
the silence was astonishingly stressful
it seemed this card could change his life.

The card turned over and it wasn't what he needed
the color drained from his face
ashen and teary he called to see the hands
no one was in a hurry or race.

He lost his lot that night at the casino
was left with nothing at all
dependant on gambling a disease for this guy
for him his world would fall.

Betting for pleasure everyone can cope with
but when it gets too serious give in
because at the end of the long drawn evening
mostly all of the time the house will win.

Gambling is an addiction for some people, many people can have a bet, have some fun and let it go, whilst the ones transfixed to machines, horses, casinos, can take it so seriously they begin to be addicted, like drugs and or alcahol its uneasy to wean off statistics are very high in this area.

Do you know anyone who has or is addicted to Gambling?

Monday, 28 December 2009


I adore every part of your body
your lean and taste so divine
I cannot wait to hold you
I am selfish you are only mine.

But why can't I get enough of you?
when I know you are dangerous to me
my life can end so horribly
everyone knows but I cannot see.

I call them spoilsports and evil
how could they despise you so much?
its not them you want to be near to
its me and thousands as such.

I have tried to live without you
put you away in a cupboard to forget
but I know in my mind I will unlock you
and once agian I lose the bet.

Will you ever release me?
stop my brain from yearning away
I cannot forget the bond we have
I will try to stop you another day!

The more I get under your spell
the harder it is to say no
but for some health and other reasons
I know you have to go.

I may have to exorcise you
get the demons out of my head
but for now I will think about you
in my dreams all alone ,in bed.

When I awake in the morning
I may not want you near
it will depend on my will power
and the deepened constant fear.

If stress hits my daily routine
I may reach out for your calming powers
but if everything goes alright today
I will keep you in locked,secure, towers.

What is it like to try to stop smoking, many many people have been there done that got the T shirt, but just how hard is it? like all addictions its really hard to combat, success is in the mind,

how many people do YOU know who have stopped and restarted through weird circumstances, but hats off to the guys who have stopped and have remained stopped.

Sunday, 27 December 2009


Tanya sat at the elegant tree
leaves surrounding her like a fence
she looks over yonder smiling to herself
nothing sinister but something intense!

A lonely child in an adults world
no brothers or sisters around
except for the squirrel climbing his tree
there wasn't as much as a sound.

Winds gathered strongly, blowing the leaves
was like some kind of storm in the yard
the branches were waving as if they were real
all twisted, limp and retard.

Tanya never moved she loved the wind
her hair was flowing all around her head
for her the excitment was nourishing
it was like she was stuck just like lead.

For hours on end she sat at the tree
nothing mattered no one would know
rooted to the ground like her powerful Elm
possibly she may even grow!

For years on end she sat and stared
to something just passed the old tree
murmuring words softly spoken
for Tanya thats how she was free.


picture courtesy of google....

Saturday, 26 December 2009


Cold beads of sweat running down my brow
tossing and turning all night
impossible to awaken from a coma like state
suffering the terrors of fright.

What makes our brain imagine things?
you would probably never experience for real
perhaps you were an actor in a previous life
because everything here you can feel.

People you can picture some have names
others come and go in the scene
its always the ones you can never imagine
in your everyday life they have been.

Carried on to memory like a taped account
only to be used when asleep
if awake you could possibly control them
and the horrible things you could keep.

Perhaps its something you dealt with that day?
or at a time you felt at your worst
bad things brought on by unpleasant memories
right now all you feel is your cursed.

When you awake in the morning you find
the covers are like a bombarded shelter
whilst trying to remember what your dream was about
your brain is on a fast helter-skelter.....

How many of you have had bad dreams??

Thursday, 24 December 2009


Constance Harding was a beautiful girl
her short life ended in disaster
she was a house maid in the early days
adored by the household and master.

They blamed it on a horrible accident
so was the findings of the court
she was barely eighteen and a half that day
cut down by the Lords bloody sport.

The lord of the Manor Sir Henry Folds
was a chip of the old block they said
his Father before him was a ruthless man
at an early age he too was dead.

Constance was in charge of the hunts catering
it was her task to feed all the guests
even although personally she loathed blood sports
or the hunting of animals or tests.

She left the halls early to get to the lodge
the party was due in one hour
cooks prepared a banquet fit for a King
while some maids cooked with fruit and flour.

The table prepared, the food was superb
Sir Henry nodded to Constance in awe
you could see he was keen on her from that day
never complaining or finding a flaw.

The feelings were not mutual, Constance was happy
with her fellow working in the stables
the guests had arrived, sat at their place
looking small amidst the long tables.

After the meal the guests slowly left
nodding approval for a very fine meal
some loading bags handing them to their partner
with food or anything they could steal!

Sir Henry beckoned Constance to join him for a while
as he sat adjacent the huge burning fire
his passion was kindled fuelled by bottles of wine
knowing what in his heart he desired.

Constance paced along the long floored hall
so slow he thought she may have stopped
Sir Henry became impatient and gestured
to Constance who's head had now flopped.

She knew what was coming, it was destined to come
but she always managed to escape
dawned in her uniform, her cheeks bright red
over her arm was her massive rain cape.

Sir Henry offered her a glass of red wine
Constance refused with a nod
he began right away telling her how much he loved her
her face was ashen and odd.

not taking no for an answer Sir Henry was determined
he tried to force her with his charms
Constance pulled her head away
but he locked her in a grip in his arms.

No cried the girl I do not love you
tears fell down both of her cheeks
I have been telling you this for so long
for months for days and for weeks!

Sir Henry was intoxicated not just with the wine
his passions grew stronger by the second
while Constance fought of his raging advances
pointing to the door she nodded and beckoned.

Angry and hurt by a females rejection
he reached for a rifle on the shelf
if I cannot have you then no man will
at first he pointed the gun at himself!

still fuelled by rage from a sweating brow
he pointed the gun at the door
shouting profanities his rage was on fire
with feelings dejected and sore.

He shot at the door but missed by a mile
as Constance fell hard on the floor
the rage turned to tears as he looked down apon
the body lying limp at the door.

Constance died within seconds of the shot
Sir Henry took her body to the field
his status and respect would be tarnished with this
and his fate would probably be sealed.

The inquest declared a shooting accident
no witnesses to say otherwise
no dna or Police equipment available
so any result was not a surprise.

At the funeral the faces were ashen and lost
for a girl who was idolized and adored
Sir Henry stood at the back of the crowd
his status and position restored.

Constance died at a young age for sure
whilst Sir Henry lived to a ripe old age
haunted by a secret he had kept for years
for one night of passion and rage.

from an active imagination, this is fiction, picture courtesy of google..

Wednesday, 23 December 2009


Glistening embers alive in a fire
quash my emotions of rushing desire
Pasturised light through netted windows
Lying awake whilst sleeping in limbo.

Dreams of pastimes a childhood lost
Family tragedy counting the cost
Lonely whilst vulnerable wasted unfree
Remember the beach by the broken oak tree?

Strikingly familiar breeding contempt
desperation flowing from feeling unkempt
hazerdous heartbeat pounding aloud
running from solitude loathing a crowd.

Deeply engulfed in a bottomless ocean
incurable madness seeking a potion
embittered illusions cloudy and dark
wounding the heart whilst leaving a mark.

Detrimental promises made in haste
glazed teary eyes with mouthfuls to taste
reflecting a life sullen and scarred
seeing the light no longer barred.

Do YOU have an active imagination? what do you do with it??

Tuesday, 22 December 2009


Kids faces fixed to a permanent smile
tinsel blowing in the air
even the smell of everything around us
makes it all like a Christmas fair.

Monday, 21 December 2009


To people who have been promised things over and over.

How many times do we hear that Phrase?
which can often sound false or empty of grace
are promises kept in this uncertain age?
with Hatred, fighting ,and feelings of rage.

Forgetting to love, embracing the time
when man, woman ,child are fearless of crime
I wonder when someone will tell this old tale?
when chivalry was meaningful ,not for sale.

Protection of others no fear for thier fate
this all happened at so early a date
the future of happiness, promises of love
try Lending a hand fitting the glove.

Show your emotions learn to forgive
even the enemy you don’t want to live
spare a thought for the dying and lame
don’t let humanity die of it's shame.

Promise to think out loud ,proud and clear
hold everything close that’s priceless and dear
in the end your satisfaction is gained
children are educated,things are explained…

Have you ever been promised something and let down??

Sunday, 20 December 2009


to people who find it hard to settle.

I wander aimlessly through this time
in momadic style, never crossing the line
not facing lover, friend, or foe
tired of not knowing where to go.

Reaching the boundaries of a brand new place
difficulties in trying to learn a face
mute and blindness always ahead
finding a needle and trying to thread.

Pieceing together a puzzle so hard
like playing a game, with a missing card
not ever reaching that final frontier
where everyone lives for hope, and not fear.

Perhaps this place exists right here
where everything is held, loving and dear
and someday if I find that dreamt dimension
lacking of heartache or emotional tension.

I may be happy to settle down
and learn to smile without a frown
make my mark and have a rest
finally completeing my roaming test.

How many people do you know that cannot settle? family? friends, tell me about it...

Saturday, 19 December 2009


He pokes his nose out of the partly opened door
before deciding if he will go out or not
if he does he must be rewarded
by buscuits or whatever you have got!

He's a canny hunter with reflexes of steel
can spot anything for miles around
except for the rats in the"hidey hole"
he ignores their scratching sound.

Barking at small animals, making his mark
he will judge who or what he will see
and his home is a luxury forest for dogs
casting his scent on many a tree.

His mistress is around he senses her
by having the odd look around
so never mistake this intelligent dog
his importance is on what he has found...

This poem is dedicated to Uriah, we hear of him in many of Gerardines stories in fact he has become very familiar, on reading Gerardines stories I came up with this poem because as I see it, this matches him to a T...

Does your pet do funny things? tell us what you are proud of??

Friday, 18 December 2009


to anyone who has been there!

How do I escape this world I live in?
drugs and booze so easy to give in
arms all holes blood so rare
hospitalised often where people stare.

Escapeing reality its time to go
no friends I have just a nameless foe
flying so high planets in sight
pupils dilated blackness of night.

Feelings of gladness escape from it all
humanity extinct I wont ever fall
Seeing the stars from statuelike state
empty forlorn and now its too late.

Happiness oozing from a vial of pleasure
costing the earth for an equalled measure
lining the pockets of people who hurt
substances attractive and able to flurt.

Passing of strangers put out by this life
sheilding the kids and protecting the wife
looked at as lepers a disease they will get
streets full of needles how can they forget.

A chosen path all full of pretention
like being chained up unable to mention
set free this fate of mine dear Lord
I live by the needle but will die by the sword.

Flying down from the planet once more
lying in state sprawled against a red door
wishing the visit would last forever
shivering hungry unfastening the leather.

Alive and awake my brain exploding
arms and legs are slowly eroding
problems still there with sorrow and pain
alleyway empty and pouring with rain.

Waiting for next time to escape it all
searching for answers within this brawl
wondering whether I live or die
back to reality to cheat and lie.

I wrote this poem when I was a support worker looking after Vulnerable adults, its a nightmare, drugs, we all know how easy it is to start but just how easy is it to end??

Do you know anyone who is addicted to drugs? and was there a happy ending? 2003

Thursday, 17 December 2009


Considering this world of ours is real
where people live and often feel
environments are damaged in danger of dying,
do we want our children sad and crying?

When forests, fields, and living things
are void of life were no birds sing
lets all be happy we have a chance
to listen learn and truly enhance.

The beauty of life creation of glory
educate ourselves and read the story
keep our planet alive and well
as the prophets did foretell.

This glorious tree of beauty and Grace
reaching the sky not trying to face
a consequential act of sensless destruction
build it up try reconstruction.

Let this lonely damaged world of ours
survive to grow and seed the flowers
let the animals roaming live in peace
extinction is rife ,faster release.

Animals have the right to survive
to breathe the air keeping them alive
stop pollution nuclear waste
give us all a chance to taste.

Clean fresh air our right of act
requires diplomacy wilful tact
to overcome our state of affairs
please my God answer our prayers.

Do you want our Earth to survive? what can we do to strengthen it?

Wednesday, 16 December 2009


Love is like finding a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.

I look at your face with fascination
constantly breaking my concentration
your smile is like the beaming sun
It captures my soul,with nowhere to run.

It stops the world on an axis of speed
it feeds the hungry, suppresses my need
what wonders I see in this Beauty beholden?
with eyes of blue, and hair so Golden.

A figure so rare in a world of conceipt
guiltless of hatred, contempt, and deceipt
are you reality in my earthly being?
trusted in my mind ,and forward in seeing.

Waken me up from this Magical dream
life is so happy and all's what it seems
Stay in my presence, be in my life
promise me one day to be my wife.

So happy together two souls as one
playing together having some fun
when earth is exhausted we will find a way
the hidden voices will whisper and say
we will be united at the gates of desire
Never knowing sadness or touching the fire.

How does love make YOU feel?

Tuesday, 15 December 2009


To my dad.God rest his soul 2000

Cry for me my father's son
teach me how to have some fun
forests gems and living things
hear the angel as she sings.

It won't be long we will soon be as one
to dream to love to see the sun
for in my eyes you do compare
to the loveliest dreams we will now share.

And as I see you as a ghost
a spirit here a man,my host
you will come now you will prepare
that's why I dream,and often stare
into your eyes Into our prayer

Of you my Father's son....

This was the very first poem I wrote,  Dedicated to my dad who sadly passed away, it was published in an anthology on, I was thrilled because that's when I realized that I could write and have been ever since...